new ways to find you

new ways to get to you

we both knew

in this game there is no winner 

we knew it beforehand.

we'd be losing.

at least one of us played fair 

and came so far

to be honest, i could not asked for more

maybe for more time

togehter 

surely

certainly

one day this suffering will come to an end.

Angel of death comes for all of us

doubtless.

I am totally destroyed inside

anybody can't fix me -

Not even I.

sometimes when I don't feel like talking at all - 

I walk to the sea and sit quietly 

in front of the big blue

I don't say a word, but I feel

fully understood.

I know I must let go -

But tell me how.

/ way too heavy. 

never understood why people are so afraid of death

I do not scare

perhaps it's because I have nothing to lose.

/ the answer

when your life feels like a cage

without holes to breathe

you dig with your bare hands to find an exit

you search the entire time to get out and be free

to find an entry for a new life

/ ride or die trying

you get what you think 

I have lost my way. I am on the wrong path.

Seems a dead end.

Nice girls lose in love game?

Bad habits get it better?

/ choose your side.

believe the magic of new beginnings. 

/ new moon.

the sea is my home. 

/ habitation 

open wounds mark traces 

while others laugh out loud

I almost was forgetting I could smile

barely

deep injuries always leave permanent scars

/ heartbreak.

Did you ever think that was it.

you've come all the way

but now, there is no forwards or backwards.

This is the end of the road. 

/ blind alley

i do not saw my mom laughing since 25 years

people say what they say 

have faith in your path

and again

it's may. 

This year. 

Exactly 25 years. 

It's been long ago.  

When your life sudden breaks apart and you don't know what is happening with your loved humans. When they are sudden disappeared. 

And you don't know where to go to find them. 

I can't even remember how much tears I cried. 

Barely remember your face but the pain I had in my lungs, lost and lone for ever. 

/ in memory of you

I found myself in you.

Found me in your eyes. 

Have trust. 

the first time in my life, 

I embrace my future confidently. 

/ no fear at all. 

Be careful with those who laugh the most

They have cracked hearts inside. 

my wall of protection 

cracks a little while your eyes meet mine.

/ please don't hurt me too. 

why is it difficult to say 

what we truly feel? 

 / to be frank is what my heart wants 

watch out for doings

not for words spoken

/ real or fake 

You fight for yourself, there is nobody to help you, they want to see you fall

/ all alone

Too high demands 

I had dreams, 

all contain you. 

unfortunately 

you can't look inside heads.

I miss to be free 

today I realized

I will never love someone again

cause I loved you way too much 

now there is no love at all 

in this tiny heart.

      / only you